Ageing is the law of diminishing returns, in slow-motion action. Everything takes more effort, and the pay-off is smaller. Sex – some people say, though I wouldn’t know this for certain – is a perfect example. Exercise is another. And don’t even mention weight-loss. Mind you, peeing seems to run in the opposite direction. Where once I wouldn’t pee during the night at all, now I can pee two, three, four, five times. That’s progress. Pregnant women, apparently, also pee more often. And babies – babies are the peeing champions! Boy-babies, especially – they can pee straight up and hit you in the eye before you can say ‘wipe bottoms.’ This is what I will be reduced to, come August – a pissing contest with an infant. My first grand-child, in fact, due to my youngest daughter, Eve, and Shaun, her husband. A true gift to us all, one that makes ageing worth it.